Mental Temples

When we officially decided to blow town for a year way back in December of 2009, the only thing we both knew is that we were inexplicably drawn to Thailand. Mental construction permit granted, we immediately set to work building glistening temples in our minds: scrambling across a bustling road in downtown Bangkok, chatting with a monk about the mysteries of an ancient religion, tasting new spices and exotic flavors, staring up at those majestic limestone cliffs of the Phi Phi Islands. During the most difficult time of our lives and in the midst of devastating family illnesses, hectic work schedules and the emotional whirlwind of Nat. Boards, the prospects of unexplored horizons and the reemergence of wonder was a soothing balm.

On our initial must-see list, we had planned to visit the inland riverside town of Kanchanaburi. Some unexpected new jobs in Samui, however, put Kanchanaburi on the back-burner where it simmered until now. A new visitor and a ticking Thailand time-clock provided us the excuse to finally go!

Many markets and even hotels float right on the river making for some stellar views.




We opted to check out the town by bicycle which allowed for some slow-paced exploration.












Lush, green, and hilly, Kanchanaburi reminded us a lot of Kauai and brought back some fond memories of our wedding.











Get Ty on a bike and she throws caution to the wind baby. Regular demon of speed she is.

Incidentally, it was one of the hottest days in the hottest month of the year and I was a saddle sore, sweaty mess. Meanwhile, Armstrong over here kept pushin' that ol' one-speed along like it was a cool afternoon in August. Show-off.










We came across an old WW II Cemetery, found some shade, and rested with the soldiers.















Our hotel was officially a "floatell" which was quite the new experience. We spent some serious time sipping drinks at the restaurant which was abundant with kids and cats.















Kyle preferred the latter.

















Which made me super angry, "PREFER KIDS OVER CATS STUPID KYLE!"
















Don't worry, we quickly made up and are officially buddies again.
















More of those fantastic Thai light shows.















And then more Kyle and his 3Gs, megapixels, apertures, shutter speeds, Wi-Fis and Texas Instrument parabolas - anything to get a good photo.










So it was off to our floating rooms early as we had a big tour coming up. Now, you may be thinking, "But Nick, I remember that you adamantly detest tours!" Your recollection is accurate, but the alluring Erawan Falls beckoned us, and there was simply no other means of safely accessing the falls.

Thankfully, as far as tours go, this one was an anomaly and made for a fantastic day. Something about having a lady-boy tour guide makes everything more interesting.















Erawan falls is the kind of place I thought only existed in films through the magic of CG.

There are 7 amazing steps to the falls; each was accessible by short hikes through the jungle.









When we first arrived, we pretty much had the place to ourselves!
















Throughout our time in SE Asia and Nepal, we have seen some pretty magnificent waterfalls, but this place was unbelievable.











The water is so blue and clear you can actually see the large (and awkwardly invasive) catfish swimming around down there.











By the time we arrived at the higher levels, people began filtering in. It was fun watching their reactions when they first felt the many fish begin to remove the dry skin from their bodies. Almost everyone yelped, hollered, and laughed hysterically at the initial feeling. What fun!








Ty was the bravest of the three of us and first to dip her feet in. The fish immediately went to work providing their free-pedicure services.

We've seen people in Chiang Mai and Bangkok sitting in spas spending top-dollar to dip their feet into giant tanks full of these fish. Their saliva has a chemical in it that digests dry or damaged skin leaving it smooth and healthy. That said, it's a helluva feeling to get used to.




Once over our initial trepidation, it was on! Here's Kyle ad I trying out the natural water slides. I have a shirt on at this point because I wasn't yet mentally prepared to allow the fish a go at my nipples. Kyle quite enjoyed the prospects (his nipples were pretty dry) so he just went for it.















Another scenic level of the falls.

















These ones were bigger and never lost suction. I now know where Dyson got their technology.












WTF!

These are Kyle's feet. I joked that he looked like he'd spent the last 9 months in a giant placenta.

Incidentally, it had nothing to do with the fish. This was the result of your common every day Swamp-Foot (peda-pickle-itis if I can say that safely) induced by the constant wearing of wet sandals etc. Icky.




Along with tours, we kind of swore off elephants too in light of our last experience; however, the tour included a ride so what the heck.

The expression on Kyle's face is the result of hearing the elephant cut an unexpected under water fart. Imagine, for a minute, the sound of human submarine flatulence and then extrapolate that to elephant proportions. Go ahead, I'll wait...

See, you're smiling too!


Our Mahout made the decision to dismount our elephant early, further exacerbating our unease. He walked several yards ahead of the beast giving the occasional verbal command in Thai, "hey, take a left dude."

Elephants are smart.












Kyle's Mahout was not enthusiastic and hid it poorly.












Kyle's elephant got privy to the fact I had bananas on my bench and got super grubby.

Elephants are smart.










This is Kyle attempting to falsely communicate, to an elephant, the fact that he was fresh out of treats.











This is the elephant calling BS on Kyle's deception and retrieving further bananas.

Elephants are smart.














Ear-to-ear having escaped another large-mammal encounter unscathed.












The non-stop-action-packed-better-than-all-other-tours-tour continued with some bamboo rafting.















They towed us up the river a bit and let us float back down. Not what I expected.
















Ty Ty and Ky Ky ended up hopping in the river and floating the current back. I was afraid of the potential crocodiles and elected to stay dry.










And then it was time for some cave exploration next to this WWII railroad.

Kyle's technological marvel of a camera features a "burst" function. The camera takes many photos in rapid succession making the cliche jump-photo a cinch. It also helps if your subject is athletic enough to pull off a clean daffy in a precariously narrow and highly elevated location.





We had a blast playing on the train tracks and getting Stand By Me flashbacks.






























The picture on the left is included for no other reason other than to hack Kyle right off.















Ty was able to charm the officer out of his fancy hat. Real seductress she is!












Remember the lady-boy tour guide I mentioned? This is her! No, it's not taboo to refer to lady-boys as such in Thailand. Thailand is a refreshingly tolerant culture and embraces "Kathoeys" the same as everyone else.

Among many great guides, she was a favorite.












Our best impersonation of "Toilet Man"













The Bridge Over the River Kwai and our last stop at end of a marvelous day. I'm a little ignorant as to the entirety of the historical significance of this bridge, but it seems like a pretty big deal. I guess I'll have to rent the film.






















Our dear friend Mark Hickok told me my blogs are "Great, although some of them are getting a little long."

For Mark, and anyone else who has the time and energy to be actually reading this right now and not merely scanning through pics, my appreciation and simultaneous apologies for the fact that this one will be no exception; hey, we did a lot of fun stuff lately! If you're getting tired, go get a Redbull or a ham sandwich and read the rest later if you wish.

We left awesome Kanchanburi and made way for Ayutthaya. We loved it the first time and wanted to show Kyle how cool it was.

On our first night, a Swedish tourist taught me a useful phrase in Japanese: "I'm going to *expletive deleted* you." Naturally, I immediately tracked down the first Japanese people I could find and tried it out.

This guy's response to my indecent assertion was priceless: "Oh, uh, I think I can arrange that." Of course his witty retort forged an immediate camaraderie and we all hung out for the remainder of the evening. Hilarious couple they were!


The next day was a scorcher and a hard day to temple-hop (maybe 100 degrees and 95% humidity). Regardless, we spent about three hours wandering around the ancient ruins snapping photos and complaining about the stifling heat.









































As a reminder, the headless Buddhas and burn marks are the result of the Burmese sacking and takeover of the ancient capital city way back in 1569.










Do you notice anything in the picture?













Shhhhhhhh. Don't tell anyone we're back here.













Before you knew it, Kyle's time in Thailand was beginning to run out. Ty and I had managed to live in and around Thailand on and off for around ten months, but had not spent any significant time in Bangkok. Better late than never I guess.

Khao San Road was every bit as lawless, chaotic, and weird as you'd think it would be. BTW, it's a great place to buy a cheap K-Fed style fedora for your wife (to be fair, Kyle bought it, but I took all the credit).









The whole place oozes with sensory excess, perverted tourists, and craziness. It was fascinating, but not a place I'd like to visit ever again.

You could buy college diplomas, Lonely Planet ID badges, tattoos, a variety of weapons, and an assortment of less mentionable items and services. Ask me about the other items up for sale on KS road when you get a chance and I will happily provide you with the whole horrifying list.


Ty's new FB profile pic. She calls it "Coke and a Smile." I love it.












Despite the sinful environs, we conducted ourselves responsibly, and rose early for a day of sight-seeing around the infernal BKK.

This was one of the most magnificent Buddha images we'd ever seen! Look at little us way down there by the feet!






Also, we checked out the manic weekend market with stalls reaching somewhere in the thousands spreading out over many blocks. They even had an expansive puppy section where patrons could dicker over their potential pets.









On our last evening with Kyle, he was so kind as to take us to a fancy schmancy little restaurant right on the river with a golden ticket, "Buy anything you want guys, with your finances, it will probably be your last nice meal in a while."

Our decisions:

Nick = Cheeseburger
Ty = Spaghetti
Kyle = Chicken Ciabatta with honey mustard

Sometimes you just get homesick I guess.


As we watched Kyle's taxi disappear into the darkness of Bangkok, it became even more undeniable that we, too, would soon be departing the place we'd both grown to love so much. It is, after all, the country where we first touched the coarse fur on the stomachs of baby tigers, tasted our new favorite dishes, Som Tam and Thai Green Curry, and reluctantly chewed crunchy grasshoppers. It was where my wife and I taught smiling young kids, college students, and service industry workers about the senseless nuances of the English language. It is the place where we waded through neck-deep flood waters, had our feet nibbled by swarms of hungry catfish, rode trains, and bamboo boats, and trumpeting elephants. It is the country that so refreshingly reaffirmed our belief in the inert capacity for human kindness and gentleness. It was the place we first learned how to ride motor bikes (on the left side of the road), use squat toilets, and barter for T-shirts using an intimidatingly tonal foreign language. It was the place where we'd met Simon, and Mark, and Nan, and so many others who taught us volumes through their unique perspectives, experiences and personal world-views. It was the place that offered a much needed restoration of wonder and newness and positivity. The temples we had initially constructed in our minds will now linger forever as real experiences.

Well that's all for now. Stay tuned for a special announcement (sorry mom, we're not pregnant) and some videos coming soon on our upcoming FINAL BLOG POST. We'll see you all before you know it!

Nick and Ty